I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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