Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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