You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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