I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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