so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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