I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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