ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
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Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
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When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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