That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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