No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
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