I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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