I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize