belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dick very happy bro
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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