i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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