The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize