I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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