Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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