I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just high enough for therapy.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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