He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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