Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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