u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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