and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
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Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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