Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
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You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
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We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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