what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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