my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize