she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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