Having a random hookup so left but love u
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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