I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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