They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
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I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
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My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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