So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize