It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
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I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
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After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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