Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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