Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize