i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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