EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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