Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
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Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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