I CAN MOONWALK!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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