im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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