i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
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He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
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Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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