I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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