Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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