So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize