Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize