I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He has the fingertips of a God
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