I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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