i think my tv is drunk
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize