didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize