P.S. I can't hear my feet
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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