pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just high enough for therapy.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize