Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Is her dick bigger than yours?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize