it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize